Violence is never the answer, well, maybe sometimes.

The last couple of weeks I've been wondering if all the video games people play are perhaps having a negative effect on us as a society?

What got me thinking about it is this chap who lives in my neighbourhood and has put this note on his car:

Let me transcribe it for you, in case you didn't bring your specs and you don't feel like clicking to enlarge:

ATTENTION CUNT WHO KEEPS STEALING THINGS OFF MY CAR

If I catch you, I will beat your head into this pavement until your face can't be recognised. I will then drag your body behind my car and leave it in the forest to be eaten by rats and insects. Then I will go after your family! I fucking dare you to touch this car again. I will be watching and I will find you.

I love his restraint, I totally would have put an exclamation mark at the end of that!

But seriously, I blame PlayStation, X-box, Wii and Donkey Kong.

Not that I'm much of a gamer myself (I don't think online Backgammon, Scrabble, or Bejewelled Blitz counts as 'gaming'). But I have on occasion, in what I like to fondly recall as my 'wasted youf', been known to play the odd racing car driving game. So I know from first-hand experience that whenever I drive after I've been playing these games, I get the desperate urge to put my foot down flat, drive as fast as I can, and bounce off the pavements, like you can in the games.

You do tend to take the game into life with you a little.

So something tells me this guy might have spent a fair amount of time playing Blood Thirst Six, or Chain Gang Boobs Murder Riot Four, or Desperado Vampire Hunt Nine, or Road Rage Baseball Bat Combat Three, or whatever other game is the shiznit right now. Either that or he watches a lot of slasher flicks.

I mean he isn't simply going to beat the crap out of the thief when he finds him. There is a lot of well-thought through, quite specific, premeditated, violently graphic detail in there.

Not that I blame the dude to be honest, this isn't London a'ight, folks. Looting is not acceptable behaviour.  

So I've been meaning to blog about this guy and his Car Note of Death the whole of last week, but life got in the way (I know, I'm such a slacker) and then I saw this article in my very favourite newspaper; The Sunday Times. It seems they reported on this guy, just like I wanted to. Except they got there first, and they can't say 'cunt' cos they're a newspaper. 

Click to enlarge

Those thieving bastards stole the car battery out of this poor oke's bonnet, for fuck's sake! Who said that was alright?

  

Does anyone out there know this Matt van der Valk? I looked for him on Facebook and Twitter, with no luck. If you follow him, please point me in his direction. I for one would like to follow this guy, If that's what he wants to do to some oke messing with his car, I'd love to hear what he says to those direct marketing sales callers that ring during dinner.

Bet it would be on like Donkey Kong!