i don't get ron jeremy.

this is a very rude post.

don't say you weren't warned.

here's something i don't understand.

this is the world's most famous male porn star, ron jeremy:

is it just me or is he the most unlikely candidate imaginable for mr porn star of the universe? this guy has shagged literally thousands of women in the last three decades, we could even be talking hundreds of thousands.


so you think, okay, maybe he was hot when he was younger and that explains it.


yeah, i suppose i can sort of see it. a little bit. maybe.


surely the world's most famous male porn star should look a little more like this... (x-rated pic coming up.) as photographed here by french photographer lars wallenrood -

(WARNING IN RED AND CAPITAL LETTERS - do not go to lars wallenrood's website if you are squeamish about looking at naked men with enormous huge erect penises! please don't go and then come back here and complain that i've ruined your eyes and you'll never see again, ok!)

aw who am i kidding we all know where you're going right now.

so as i was saying, surely the world's most famous male porn star should look a little more like this:

oooh sorry if you were offended by that, here it is below, censored.



better? or is it too late for censoring now? has the damage already been done? sorry man.

(i almost couldn't find a white bar big enough.)

ok back to ron jeremy now. Just for a second try to imagine that you don't know who this man is, that he's just an average joe schmo off the street. now try to imagine the circumstances under which these two girls might sleep with him:


(nice crocs, ron.)

i would have to hazard a guess that there would be only three such circumstances:

1. if he was filthy stinking fucking rich. and i mean filthy!

2. if he was a reach for a dream guy, and this was his dying wish you might find it somewhere (deep inside you) to grant a dying man his final wish.

3. if just out of that picture on either side of those girls were two men, each holding a gun to their heads.

according to imdb, where old ron jeremy has an extensive profile, this guy has been in over 1186 movies since 1977. he kicks Clint Eastwood and Steven Segal's collective asses quite substantially.

he's also directed a further 163 films, written 33 of them and produced seven of them. not particularly hard to write these things i would imagine, throw in a bit of oohing and aaahing and a couple of oh babies, toss in the odd money shot and you're done. but still those are some pretty impressive statistics.

his most recent movie is called - Killer School Girls from Outer Space - and it's still in production. Sounds like a goodie. bet that plot has some surprising twists and turns.

bet that semen recipe book would be a doddle for a guy like ron.